It’s been two months since my last vacation in Lebanon. It’s usually enough time for me to start missing it there. But I’m not. I’m not happy where I am neither. I might have lost an important feature of a human being.
I’ve become apathetic about everything around me. I go to work everyday like a zombie. I don’t even need music for my way to and back from work. Each song is merely a succession of notes, not an entity.
I watch my favorite shows but they don’t entertain me as before.
I eat my favorite dishes, they seem tasteless to me.
Bike rides are just series of pedal strokes and wheel revolutions.
I lost my motivation.
I’m getting all sorts of criticism and judgment at work, but that’s not even affecting me one bit.
Stress is a complete stranger to me.
Nothing thrills me but nothing bugs me neither.
I have become numb, mentally and emotionally.
I’m wandering in those slippery paths of life. They seem too clean and empty to me.
Am I losing grip on reality?